Sunday, December 6, 2009

What a jerk!

A situation happened the other day that made me realize I'm not exactly the same person I was 25 years ago. We were meeting the baby's other grandparents to deliver him for their weekend custody. They get to keep him the 1st, 3rd and 5th weekends of the month, as per court order. As I was standing in the parking lot holding the baby and making small talk with the other grandfather, an ignorant East Texas redneck conservative Christian-hypocrite jackass, he reaches up and yanks the pacifier out of the baby's mouth, saying something to the effect of no baby stuff allowed here. The child immediately began wailing as if he'd had his feelings hurt terribly, and clearly he had. I could not think of anything to say or do to that jackass as he walked off to place the baby in his car; anything, that is, that would not have made things worse for the baby.

When I was about 25, I and my young son, just a few years old at the time, went to a local hardware store on the town square. As I was getting him out of the car, a large pickup truck pulled sharply into the open space next to me, almost hitting my still open door. I put my son down on the seat and started beating the side of the truck with my bare hands, leaving a dent in the sheet metal, and yelling at the driver that his driving endangered my child. I might have beaten the driver too if he hadn't had the good sense to go inside a different store.

Sometimes I think I should have beaten that jackass grandfather for taking the baby's pacifier and making him feel so bad, but that might have killed the old man, who just last year suffered a near-fatal heart attack. And, for those who have never tried this, trying to reason with an ultra-conservative redneck asshole is entirely futile. Members of this species are never wrong, and unable to reason well enough to adopt new positions. They only understand force. Whoever screams loud enough must be right. I usually simply refuse to engage them because I've learned it is a waste of time.

One thing about me that hasn't changed is I will not tolerate bullying behavior. We pick up the baby from them tomorrow evening. I intend to take him in my arms and immediately give him his pacifier, in plain view of the jackass. I dare him to say anything about it.


  1. The restraint *is* the important and precious thing here - any one can be a JERK... and that is not a word I would associate in any way shape or form with you, Sweetheart

    I'm glad that we will always be leaps and bounds ahead of... jerks. What I hate is having to deal with them in relation to the baby, so frequently.

  2. You are both wise to behave with restraint, documenting everything, and remembering that evil is evil to the core, conservative or otherwise...and evil will turn and try to get you to engage, so they can show the court that ((you)) are evil. Don't do it. Please. I know it's hard, but you are wise to maintain show that you are the safest place for the baby. Keep up the great work.

  3. I love the wonderful things you say about my father. When did being a CHRISTIAN become such an awful thing? I was waiting at my parents house with the boys when they returned from getting Landon that day and he was in a great mood just as he always is at my parents home. No pacifier is needed for him to be content. He has my parents and all of his other family members here to keep him content. I love the slanderous marks you make on my parents and how they print right off the screen. We should really talk...Keri the daughter of the "mean grampy" check out my comment on Athena's blog if she is brave enough to let you all hear the truth.

  4. K,

    Thank you for commenting. I also read what you wrote to D. You and I can talk any time. I've always considered you intelligent and reasonable, and a friend since I've known you. However, you cannot defend the indefensible. He did what he did, without justification.

    L's doctor says pacifiers are alright, as do people who are educated in child development. Further, with all the change and upheaval this precious child goes through each month, a pacifier can be one constant source of comfort. He does take comfort in it. There is no good reason to deny him this comfort.

    You miss the point of my remarks about being a Christian. Christians do not seek to bully others merely to assert control. And you cannot deny that you yourself have been such a victim.

    I do not doubt that L is happy during his stays with your parents. I do not doubt they love him as much as we do, as you do. Nevertheless, I find nothing in my post to retract.


  5. I will borrow comment space here in case any one is eagerly checking my blog for a comment from "mom of 3" - I gave her time to reconsider her comment on my blog, which I moderate comments on - (I have only once before not published a comment on my blog, and that was one long ago that expressed the various and horrendous ways addicts should burn in hell.) My blog isn't about pointless, hurtful things, and anyone who wants to make my blog their place to be hurtful is not going to get satisfaction. I don't expect they will find satisfaction here, either.


    After an email exchange and a long phone call, she prefers I do not post her comment on my blog. She's not hateful, In fact she's someone I care about, and she reacted in a way you do sometimes, and then wish later you had not. I understand. We all do it, sometimes.

    Hopefully the point has been made that my blog isn't about THEM. What happened happened, and the opinions expressed are opinions that might be expressed on anyone else's blog about the same type of behavior - a farmer in Australia, a banker in Switzerland, an Atheist in Idaho, a Christian in New York.

    Blogs are a way to express. Best advice I can give anyone who reads them is... at the very least read them in context. And if the shoe doesn't fit - don't wear it - lol. Seriously. If it does, well, only a reader can decide that, and then decide if they want to quit reading, right?

    A word to Christian friends and readers ... Anyone who will touch lepers, turn the other cheek, do unto others, suffer the little children... Anyone who understands Grace... well, nothing said on this blog or mine would ever be said to intentionally insult. Ever. Even if wearing gold lame stretch pants and a flannel hunting jacket to do your shopping. I am a Christian. A Presbyterian, even. There are some folks like Pat Robertson & Glenn Beck I am sure I won't spend eternity with. Thank God.

    Some people drink, some do drugs, some write, some run, some fight, some go to libraries, some go to church - some do all of the above, some do none.

    We are all of us human.

    And I love my husband and am so proud of him in every thing that he says and does - him, oh yeah - eternity!

  6. I did reconsider my comment after gaining an understanding of these blogs. My first impression, of coarse, was hurtful things being said about my family whom I love. I, even as some christians do, over-reacted and offer my apologies to all who were offended. I understand now that these blogs are a personal coping system for those with relatives that are addicts. And N and Athena, we will always be friends! We go way.... back, lol. Sorry :( K

  7. Group hug!

    Thank you K, I enjoyed talking to you, as always, and I hope you will visit us more often - in person, or as a blogger :-)

    You are an important & loved member of both sides of the family.